106 Humourous Letterkenny Quotes and One-Liners

The hilarious Canadian series may not be accurate, but it paints a picture of life in the small town of Letterkenny. Their inappropriate sense of humour is somewhat addictive for viewers as the characters continue to have a blast on and off screen, creating continuous laughter throughout each episode.

Letterkenny is a Canadian television sitcom created by Jared Keeso in 2015. The series began as a YouTube web series, before making it’s television debut in 2016 and eventually airing on The Comedy Network. It is written primarily by Keeso and Jacob Tierney, and also stars Keeso alongside Nathan Dales, Michelle Mylett and K.Trevor Wilson.

The show follows the residents of Letterkenny, a fictional rural community in Ontario and is loosely based on Keeso’s hometown of Listowel, Ontario. Main characters are siblings Wayne and Katy, who run a small farm and produce stand with Wayne’s friends. The series plot circles around Letterkenny’s farmers, out-of-towners, local hockey team, local drug addicts and the “natives.”

There’s no doubt the show is quick with humour, firing jokes across every line. The insults are fast and brutal as the series unique writers play around with colorful words for new content each episode. The quotes and one-liners are bound to make anyone laugh regardless of whether they’re a fan of the show or not.

1. Well there is nothing better than a good fart.

Letterkenny

2. Pitter-patter, let’s get at ‘er.

Everyone

3. Oh, I wouldn’t say shit if my mouth was full of it.

Shoresy

4. Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.

Wayne

5. You’re pretty good at wrestling there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciate about you.

Squirrelly Dan

6. Not my pig, not my farm.

Wayne

7. Figure it out!

Everyone

8. Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.

Wayne

9. Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.

Wayne

10. Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.

Wayne

11. I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.

Wayne

12. That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.

Katy

13. So my dick died. Can I bury it in you?

Daryl

14. You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.

Wayne

15. On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?

Katy

16. Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.

Wayne

17. Oh yeah? What’s gonna happen, Shoresy?

Reilly

18. You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.

Daryl

19. If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall you’d have, well, give or take six bucks.

Wayne

20. You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?

Wayne

21. 3 things: I hit you, you hit the pavement and I jerk off on your driver’s side door handle.

Shoresy

22. We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.

Coach

23. You stopped toe curling in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.

Wayne

24. Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.

Squirrelly Dan

25. I am willing to give 69% of my company to a partner, why 69%? Both sides benefit!. Good Enough!

Gail

26. And I suggest you let that one marinate.

Wayne

27. You were a sniper in that game today and… do you see that sniper at 3 o’clock?

Shoresy

28. Then I’d have to put my wine down.

Marie-Fred

29. If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.

Wayne

30. Boulevard of broken dreams!

Shoresy

31. Where’s the sacrifice?

Jonesy

32. Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.

Gail

33. Seeing as this is most certainly a one-off event and not a tradition that also falls on some made-up holiday that I couldn’t give a cats queef about, I’m out. There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.

Wayne

34. Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…. but I am kind of curious.

Shoresy

35. If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.

Katy

36. The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!

Wayne

37. Fuck, Lemony Snicket, what A Series of Unfortunate Events you been through, you ugly fuck.

Jonesy

38. Your friend says his sleds got so much torque he can’t keep the front end down, Ok bud, if you wanna blow smoke, go have a dart.

Wayne

39. Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.

Wayne

40. Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?

Jonesy

41. I think you come in men enough for all of us.

Wayne

42. Fuck you Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.

Reilly

43. Look if you are coming, you better come correct.

Gail

44. …I’m too fat to run.

Squirrelly Dan

45. I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.

Gail

46. Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.

Wayne

47. You woke up on your friend’s lawn the other day but your friend’s lawn is in Michigan so, that’s a bit off putting.

Wayne

48. It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.

Wayne

49. You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.

Wayne

50. I’ll post it on my fucking Facebook. And you guys will post it on your fucking Facebook!

Stewart

51. It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.

Wayne

52. Pack of coyotes come right up the back porch the other night ‘cause your dog’s in heat and you know those fuckin’ yellow eyed bastards’ll go right through the screen door if they’re horny.

Wayne

53. We need backup, boys.

Jonesy

54. You got half your finger cut off one of three ways: bike chain, bandsaw, penalty box door.

Wayne

55. I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.

Wayne

56. I’m so upset about my perennials.

Squirraly Dan

57. Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.

Katy

58. All butts are gay, but not all gays have butts.

Jonesy

59. Hard no.

Wayne

60. You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t bring yourself to kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop. You don’t care if that makes you softer than a Disney matinee.

Squirrely Dan

61. You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.

Squirrelly Dan

62. Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like your pants are doing it for you.

Wayne

63. Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?

Reilly

64. Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.

Shoresy

65. You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub ‘cause you heard sperms stay alive in there and you’ve seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles enough times to know how that story ends.

Wayne

66. Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.

Gail

67. When you are bringing complaints to someone, they’ll be more receptive to alter into their behavior if you make it your problem, rather than placing the blames on them.

Wayne

68. Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.

Wayne

69. You wanna walk around town spelling like that? Ok?! I’ll spell with you any day of the week and I suggest you let that one marinate.

Wayne

70. You seen a ‘coon havin’ sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.

Wayne

71. ou came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light.

Daryl

72. Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.

Wayne

73. Your gal has a cousin who’s spun and she is no longer your hun. ‘Cause you had to pop ’em and boy did you drop ’em. Yeah, you did what had to be done.

Wayne

74. Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!

Gail

75. Your sister thinks you smoke too much when you’re drinkin’ but your grandpa always said “a smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart.

Wayne

76. Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom’s floor! She gives my nipples butterfly kisses.

Jonesy

77. You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole.

Wayne

78. You’re pretty sweet on your new gal but if she forgets to close the third door of your truck before the passenger door one more time it’s fuckin’ over I’ve had it.

Wayne

79. What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.

Wayne

80. Cologne. But I just use sunscreen, Banana Boat.

Daryl

81. There’s a gal in the next township who got the stinker removed from a skunk and she keeps it as a pet so that’s pretty much par for the course there, eh.

Wayne

82. Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.

Wayne

83. Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!

Shoresy

84. You can cross fuck off.

Wayne

85. You ever hoover schneef off a sleeping cow’s spine?” “I’ve hoovered schneef off an awake cow’s teet.

Daryl

86. Yes dear, pick up milk on the way home. That’s a Texas sized 10-4.

Gail

87. I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.

Daryl

88. It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?

Wayne

89. Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!

Squirrelly Dan

90. You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?

Shoresy

91. Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?

Wayne

92. You got called a shithead at go karts for bumping another driver and had to fight the guy ‘cause you were on a first date.

Wayne

93. Fuck you, Shoresy, you’re a terrible fuckin ref!

Jonesy

94. You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.

Wayne

95. I won’t go down in history but I’ll go down on you.

Gail

96. You seen a ‘coon having sex with a barn cat on top of your truck? Fuck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.

Wayne

97. Fuck you Shoresy! Put a shirt on.

Reilly

98. our great uncle farted when he got up from the picnic table which was funny but also pretty fuckin inconsiderate at his own chilli picnic.

Wayne

99. You took your gal into Pizza Delight for a nice supper and there were two kids’ birthday parties in there hucking fucking crayons around.

Wayne

100. You’d best be preparing for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.

Wayne

101. What I said was: I got real long eye lashes. Well I’m surprised no one has ever noticed that.

Wayne

102. The only animal in the animal kingdom that wants anything to do with Canada gooses… is Canada mooses.

Wayne

103. Your dad says guys with big trucks have little dinks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little dink.

Wayne

104. Time to take about 20% off the meth intake, boys.

Wayne

105. You guys do CrossFit?

Daryl

106. There’s some buttfuckery at play here.

Wayne